Tales of the Unbound Episode 5: Open the Gates!

In "Tales of the Unbound" Episode 5, we reach the apex of the storyline, talking through all the details of the “big day” of conversion. Miriam recounts the challenges of facilitating a traditional Jewish conversion ritual for Ari and Josh in prison. She navigates assembling a beit din (rabbinic court). The mikvah (ritual bath) posed logistical hurdles, eventually combining some borrowed and collected elements to make it happen. The ritual circumcision (milah) was performed privately by Ari and Josh using diabetic lancets despite our share of reservations. The ceremony concludes with Ari and Josh affirming their Jewish identity before their community, marking a profound moment of spiritual transformation and communal contribution.

Love the song in the intro? That’s Jacob Spike Kraus singing “Pitchu Li”

[1] Miriam talks about what a Mikvah looks like in traditional communal spaces. If you haven’t yet checked out Mayyim Hayyim, we’re so excited for you to discover it. There’s a video-guided tour with details on how to prepare and where to find local places to immerse near you. You might also like ImmerseNYC or you can DIY your mikvah with some great resources from Ritual Well. Also, there’s a neat storytelling venture called “Mikvah Stories” through Mikvah.org if you want to hear personal accounts. If you’re mikvah curious, call up your local mikvah and talk to them about it. Look into mikvah training at Mayyim Hayyim, or head down to your local living water and offer your own ritual.

[2] Mikvah baths in Temple times were critical to the sacrificial culture. They provided purification rituals before entering the sanctified areas of the Temple. There are 200 mikvah baths in the old city of Jerusalem that date back to the 2nd century, 50 of which are around the Temple Mount. Read more about it here. 

[3] Our ancient texts have all kinds of regulations and directions on how to build a mikvah. Here is a great study resource from the book “Gray Matter” by Chaim Jachter if you want to get waaaay into the details. 

[4] We know you want to see some Mikvah pop culture clips! 

2003 Sex in the city with Charlotte’s conversion, Season 6 episode 3 

2012 Oprah in Brooklyn studying the ultra-orthodox culture 

2015 Sex in the City, with Cindy’s conversion Season 3, Episode 13 

Transparent, Off the Grid, Season 1, Episode 6 and Season 3, Episode 9

Weeds, “Red in tooth and claw” Season 8, Episode 5 

[5] Miriam talks about how much water needs to be in a mikvah. A whole tractate in the Mishnah called Mishnah Mikvaot deals with how much water, when and how to immerse, and contingencies. It also has different modes for measurements than we do now, hence why Miriam says “40 se-ah,” which is roughly 575 liters. A “se-ah” is a unit of measurement from the Bible that we think is somewhere between 7-12 liters. The BDB gets more precise, stating that a Se-ah is 1/3 of an ephah, which is 12.148 liters. Regardless, it’s a lot of water that needs to allow for your entire body to submerge. 

[6] Want to know more about the procedure for a bris? JewBelong.com has a nice set of explanations and even a printable booklet to accompany the ritual.  This is also a quick and sweet video about a bris. Here’s some information about Tipat Dam and it’s role in Conversions. And finally, if you want to see how the Reform movement talks about Tipat Dam, here you’ll find archives of responsa (legal decisions based on case studies) around ritual circumcision. 

[7] Circumcision?!?!? No thanks! There are also plenty of resources out there for Jews and Jews by choice who are anti-circumcision.  It’s not for everyone, it’s a choice. Here’s an article about the “circumcision debate” with links to many articles. Also, there’s an alternative that people are doing with Hatipat Dam with a drop of blood from the heel. 

[8] Here is the link to the Trans Halacha project on circumcision through SVARA that Miriam mentions. It also has amazing resources for gender transition in the mikvah and trans approaches to conversion. 

[9] The Shehechianu Prayer (Lex Rofeberg beautifully sings our version) is sung or said at times of deep gratitude, when experiencing something for the first time, to mark a positive lifecycle moment, and when seeing a friend after a prolonged period of time. 

[10] Ari and Josh chose very traditional books for their community: Midrash Raba and the Mishnah. These are also sets that would be included in traditional Jewish libraries.

[11] Miriam mentions the story of opening the gate in Brachot 28a. For a deep dive into a great analysis, listen to Dan Libenson and Benay Lappe study this text on the Oral Talmud. 

• Transcript

  TALES, EPISODE 5 “Open the Gates!”: 

  MIRIAM:  Welcome to Tales of the Unbound, I am Miriam Terlinchamp, and this is a seven-episode series about a journey of Jewish conversion within a prison. We are in episode 5, and this is where our whole story has been heading, so if this is the first time you are joining us, welcome, and don’t spoil it for yourself! Push pause now and listen to the first few episodes to best engage with the story. For the rest of our listeners, I’m so glad you’re here, and please keep sending us your emails and messages - we love being able to pass them on to Ari and Josh. Also, don’t forget to check out our show notes for ways to volunteer, donate and get involved.

  [MUSIC]

   MIRIAM: It was a straightforward enough problem. Ari and Josh wanted a traditional conversion ritual.

  JOSH: I stand on the shoulders of you and every Jew that's come before me, and in doing so I carry on a tradition that's very important, and for me it was important that I do everything possible. Because one, they had told me it couldn't be done, and it was being offered to me. And for two, I knew that in the future, whenever we spoke about these things, that I wanted to give people an opportunity to view this in a way that they would see authenticity, no matter where you come from in Judaism, whether it be Hasidic, Orthodox, Reformed, Conservative, Reconstructionist. I wanted everybody to see that the things that we had chosen to do were meaningful to us and that we were as authentic as we could be in choosing the way that we would

  MIRIAM: So, to meet that goal, according to Jewish legal code for conversion, we would need a beit din, a rabbinic court, milah, ritual circumcision, and a mikvah, ritual immersion.

  Which for us meant that we would need … let’s see:

  ·      3 learned people with security clearance for the beit din

  ·      A large enough basin for a 6ft tall man to have a full-body immersion

  ·      Water that counts as “living water” to fill it

  ·      And a way to administer a ritual circumcision, which likely means providing a sharp object for a DIY (do-it-yourself) ritual

  All within a prison setting…2300 miles from where I live…No problem…Let’s do this thing.

  This is Tales of the Unbound, Episode 5 “Open the Gates!”

  [MUSIC]

  MIRIAM: The beit din seemed like the easiest part to tackle. So, I started there. Amy and Marvin already had security clearance and could help obtain temporary security clearance for me.  I just needed to convince Amy and Marvin that they were qualified to serve on the beit din. Even though they served as the teachers, chaplains, ritual leaders, and holders of space for Ari, Josh, and the Jewish community in Monroe Correctional, they did not see themselves as rabbinic leaders. To be called “Rabbi” you need to be ordained. I’ll be honest, part of me, this whole journey, thought that Amy would be willing to claim that title with my urging and support. Amy already does everything and more that a rabbi does. And so I thought that she’d see she didn’t need me. But she didn’t and won’t. 

  AMY: I don't think it would have ever felt real. I don't think it would have ever felt like it would be sanctioned appropriately out in the real world. Because I don't have Smicha and I don't have those letters before my name, in this case, the title does matter. 

  MIRIAM: For Amy, the boundaries between ordained Jewish leadership and lay Jewish leadership are clear, so agreeing to serve on the beit din took a little convincing. 
  

  Typically, a beit din is comprised of three rabbis, yet in many communities, it is acceptable to hold a beit din with two learned Jews and one ordained rabbi or even three learned Jews. 

  What we were about to do was prohibited by Jewish law based on the principles we outlined in Episode 1. But briefly, so we’re all on the same page, conversion to Judaism requires free will, no limitations to performing mitzvot, the commandments, and access to the conversion rituals. Because of these requirements, it would be very difficult to ask other rabbis to join us on the beit din, even if they could get a security clearance.  After making many phone calls, it became very clear that if we were going to have a beit din, it needed to be Amy, Marvin, and me.  

  Amy and Marvin lean towards traditional expressions of Jewish observance. And they embrace the deeply held Jewish notion that we live by the law and we do not die by it. Their students, Ari and Josh, were trying their best to live by the law, affirm their Jewish path, and give back to the Jewish community, so they said yes.  

  MARVIN: there is a definite logic to the conversion process kind of being through a cycle that you live, I don't know how long you've studied with them, but. The idea that it's not like from one day to the next it there and I think you're going through the entire cycle of a Jewish year and experiencing the holidays, um, um, coming to understand, um, prayer and Torah and holidays and all that stuff. Um, And that conversion is really just kind of the culmination of that, as opposed to, you know, all right, you weren't Jewish, now you're Jewish, and, you know, flip the switch, and everything, it's, it's, uh, it's an integrating process, and I think it just kind of caps that off with, the actual conversion ceremony.

   Josh: Authentic is different than being worthy. I feel you're right about that. Being authentic is being genuine with who we are right where we're at. Feeling like we're worthy is coming to a place where I've been validated by others that I seek to be like them. And in this particular process, I felt validated as we went through this process together that the steps that I was taking and who I am and who I was meant to be, that my heart was judged to be true and that the things that I knew about myself were seen by you, Marvin, and Amy, which was hugely important to me because Y'all are Jewish, born Jewish, my people, the people that I'm now with.

  MIRIAM: With that settled, we moved to the next problem: The mikvah.

   In a public mikvah, the mikvah itself looks like a square inground hot tub. In many places, the mikvah feels a little bit like a spa. The process of immersing includes removing all clothing, jewelry, and makeup, walking down seven steps to enter the center of the pool, and then submerging your whole body – including every strand of hair on your head, spreading your fingers and toes, allowing the water to enfold every part of you. Rising up, saying a blessing, and then doing it all two more times. 

  For an immersion to count as a ritual practice, it doesn’t have to occur in a community mikvah. My friend Rabbi Margot Valles shared an article with me that depicts people building mikvah in a bathtub or a cupboard in their homes or the basement of the synagogue. Folks also might immerse in natural, living bodies of water like rivers, lakes and the ocean. 

  The why of immersion is about rebirth and marking a threshold moment. In ancient times, mikvah baths surrounded the Temple where people would immerse before offering sacrifices. The mikvah served as a ritual bath to cleanse one of the deeds from the past and restore the inherent purity that is part of our humanity. Through the mikvah, we spiritually prepare ourselves to meet God – washing away what no longer serves us and allowing us to see what is before us with new eyes. 

   Including a mikvah in the conversion ritual for Ari and Josh felt so resonant. Yet, making a mikvah within a prison was a big stretch. 

  The ancient texts thought through all kinds of ways to make a mikvah,  and so does popular culture. In 2003, in Sex in the City, Charlotte immerses in a community mikvah as part of her conversion. In 2012, Oprah Winfrey tours a mikvah in Brooklyn, and in 2015, in the Netflix show Orange is the New Black, Cindy converts to Judaism -- in prison! 

  But Cindy runs into a snag trying to convert in prison.

  [SOUND CLIP from Orange Is The New Black: Season 3, Episode 13]

   MIRIAM: There is no mikvah.

  In the show, Cindy finds a way to immerse in a mikvah. 

  But unfortunately, it requires a prison break to make that happen.

  Since that wouldn’t be our route to a mikvah, we needed to find a large enough vessel to allow for full immersion and fill that vessel with living water while keeping it all within the Department of Corrections rules. 

  According to traditional halacha, Jewish law, we needed 40 se-ah, or 575 ish liters of water to make a kosher mikvah. However, there are plenty of contingencies where the agreement is that as long as a person can fully immerse, the mikvah can be ritually kosher. It turns out, that’s not as much of a loophole as I thought. 

  For full immersion, we needed about 500 liters of water, which I based on the scientific practice of googling “How much water do I need for a grown man to submerge completely?” the answer was 302 liters based on what standard bathtubs hold, so I guesstimated that we need about 1/3 more than bathtub for Ari and Josh to be able to immerse fully… bringing us right back to the number stipulated as the minimum in the Talmud. 

  And then I had an idea.

  The guys met in a chapel shared by all the religious groups in the prison, meaning there was likely a baptistry—a communal tub or pool used for baptisms. We share the same source texts, so it makes sense that our rituals overlap, too. Amy asked the pastor if we could borrow it, and then all that was left was how to use it to fulfill the obligations of a kosher immersion. That was the easy part. 

  MIKVAH AUDIO: …We're looking at  a baptismal font that looks like a bathtub with  What do you think, like half a foot of water here? With a, with a place for your head. Yeah, it's probably a good  hundred plus gallons. Hundred gallons, you think? Do you guys want to look at it? Yeah, come look.  Did you do it? No, I, I had the, uh, the, uh. Put your hands in it, feel it. Ooh, it's warm water, too. 

  MIRIAM: The prison is just outside Seattle, Washington, which receives 39 inches of rain annually. Plus, there are lakes, rivers, and an ocean within a few miles of the prison, all of which also count as “living waters” for ritual immersion purposes. The trick is that a mikvah is supposed to be filled with waters that have never been dormant so that it is ever flowing, mimicking the primordial seas of creation.  Luckily, the prison uses collected rainwater as its water source. I was able to collect water to supplement the mikvah and bring it as close to traditional ritual standards as possible in that context. 

  On the day of the beit din and mikvah, the guys rose early that morning and filled the baptistry in preparation. They used only hot water, knowing I’d add cold collected waters to it later. Then, they placed the lid on the mikvah and let it sit. 

   MIRIAM: Turns out, Jews don’t know very much about baptistries so when it was time to get in the mikvah – the water was scalding.  

  JOSH: this mikvah made out of wood, and holding water, and It was void of any markings of any kind, but the water that was put into it initially was extremely hot. It was like a hot tub, and a hot spring, and scalding, almost, for me. I felt like I was a lobster in water, if that's a thing, at that point. I remember stepping into that water, and as soon as my toes dipped into the water, you were like, well, we can wait, and I was like, no, we can't.

  ARI: I forgot how warm the water was, it was like, oh my gosh, but uh, the, you know, the whole experience of it was just like, magical to us

  MIKVAH AUDIO: How's it feel? It's hot. Is it too hot? Do you want to wait? Because we can do some other stuff, and then, whatever, you know. Don't be scared, Josh. It's like last night all over again. Another thing that we did last night that was really scary, and I did that too, so. So, we don't know when you'd be able to get your head in there somehow. Uh, my head? That's for your knees. Oh, you go backwards? Yeah, that's way smarter. Make sure you plug your nose. Woo! How's that feel? Oh, it's a hot tub. It's a hot tub. Yeah. Okay. I know, right? So, before you. It's not supposed to be hot. Sorry. Okay. I'm sorry, we shouldn't be giggling…Yeah, he was not kidding. He was probably being nice to you, waiting to get hot. How did you get in here? Man, let me wash you clean. I don't know if you know how hot this is, but it's amazing. I'm assuming it's very hot. Alright. Why are you sweating? Hi! Why are you sweating? Feels so good to be back. That's hot.

  MIRIAM: The day was so solemn up to that point, everyone on their best behavior and also still nervous, so when we watched Josh edge his way into the water, one foot at a time, it lightened the mood. And in real-time, we watched as he recalled that the last time he had submerged in water – he was a teenager. And then also, he remembered his mother, giving him a bath as a child. The water brought all those moments back, the living waters of creation, the waters of homelife, the waters of freedom. 

  JOSH: the ritual immersion in the mikvah within the walls of this place, pouring living water into this thing and watching this unfold. Submerging under that water, that living water, repeating the blessings as I arose, that warmth was spreading throughout me, and I was having to catch my breath at some point. Those words that we were saying, they were so meaningful. They were creating something new inside of me. Something was blooming inside of me.

  MIRIAM: For Ari, too, it felt like that – even as his skin flushed red with the hot water, he remembered how he used to love to swim, to scuba dive, the freedom of extending his body in the weightlessness of water.

  ARI: Four years it had been since I had been submerged in water in a bathtub or Something that was very close to my heart is some, is water. I love to swim. I love just to be submerged in water and to That feeling of just being in it and knowing that this is me and my element…14 years that I had not been inside a tub of any kind. And that was the first time that I'd been submerged in water. And it was just It was amazing. It felt so fulfilling to be inside that water.

  MIRIAM: And for Amy, Marvin, and myself, those same memories came to us, as well—the intimacy, freedom, and holiness of the everyday rituals that we do in water.  

  MIKVAH AUDIO: Water splashing 

  MIRIAM: The last thing we needed to figure out was the milah, the ritual circumcision. 

  There is a difference between circumcision and ritual circumcision.

  Circumcision is the medical procedure of removing the foreskin of a penis.

  Ritual circumcision is an external reminder of the covenant of God, which includes the removal of the foreskin on the 8th day of a baby’s life. There’s a ceremony and prayers that accompany that procedure, called a bris or a brit milah – a covenant of circumcision. 

  If you were not circumcised as a baby, some denominations of Judaism and many rabbis require a ritual circumcision regardless of age. There are also plenty of rabbis who do not require this act. Instead, they may recommend something called “Hatifat Dam Brit,” which is a ritual of drawing a drop of blood for those who have already been circumcised but without the ritual, like in a hospital, or before the 8th day, or at a time before converting to Judaism.  The Hatifat Dam Brit, or Tipat Dam ritual, involves drawing a drop of blood from where the foreskin used to be attached. 

  Side note: For non-binary or transfolk, there are some great resources from the trans halacha project through SVARA that address how this ritual might work for non-cys men.

  Also, I have to confess that I really didn’t want to do this part.

  I never required a Brit Milah or a Tipat Dam in previous conversions that I had sponsored, even though they are strongly recommended in Reform Responsa and necessary in other Jewish denominations. I have lots of feelings about it, and it was hard for me to understand its importance to the guys. But in Ari and Josh’s minds, their conversion would not be authentic without Tipat Dam. 

  JOSH: I love that you gave us options because it gave us an opportunity to choose. And in choosing the way that we wanted to go about it, you know, we wanted to do the ritual circumcision, we wanted to do the bathing, we wanted to do, to make fun, we wanted to do everything that was necessary. So that way, for me moving forward, I would know that there was nothing left undone. 

  MIRIAM: It was my job as a sponsoring rabbi to figure out how to make that possible.  I remembered sitting on a beit din a long time ago with another rabbi who mentioned to me that he encouraged folks to self-administer their tipat dam. So I called him up, and he explained it all to me and sent me a handy one-page how-to sheet. I copied it, wrote “MEDICAL INFORMATION” in large block letters on the top of the page, mostly out of concern that it would appear as elicit material to the security officers in the prison mail room, and sent it along.

  Here's the thing…I’d avoided the details of circumcision while I was in rabbinical school, and during the many bris rituals I had officiated, I always looked away. I have two daughters myself, so… perhaps this was a way for the universe to test me a bit – reminding me that what works for me, or what makes me uncomfortable, doesn’t really matter – if it works for the person who I am serving, then it’s my role to lean in with an open heart. And it was an opportunity for growth and empathy for me to help someone else walk this part of the journey. It also felt like we were learning it together. 

  Josh noticed that diabetic lancets were available for purchase in the commissary, as the handout recommended. We agreed that he and Ari would self-administer their hatifat dam in their cells in private before coming to the beit din and would bring the gauze to us with a drop of blood.

  All three of us played it very cool.

  But I know each one of us was very nervous. 

  I read that it wouldn’t hurt much. That there wouldn’t be much blood. But I don’t have a penis, so what do I know what hurts or doesn’t hurt? And, what would it mean to have to perform such a personal act within the context of a jail cell, with the noise of the common room, cellmates, and all the energy of prison life that is so counter to the meditative space of a religious ritual? I was nervous for them and wished it didn’t matter so much to them. I also wanted to support them every step of the way. 

  ARI: having the Hatafat dam and I was talking to Josh and I was like look if Avraham can do this with a seashell You know, we can do it with a you know, a needle and draw some blood and like let's do the thing Which is funny because I don't know if he told you this story, but both of us were super nervous about this because it's like waiting for a bee sting, you know. That you know is coming and it's like, oh my gosh, this is gonna hurt so bad. But, you know, I thought it was gonna be this really beautiful thing and I'm gonna be in, you know, my own private space and, you know, say these Hebrew blessings and then came the time where it's like, Okay, let's do the thing. And there was a lot of hesitation because it's like, wow, this is really gonna hurt. And I'm like, how does he do this with a seashell? Like, man. So, you know, it was just, it was something that we both wanted to go, look, we did all the things and like, if there had been more things required, we would have done that 

  JOSH: One of the things that was the hardest thing to do was the ritual circumcision. Specifically for the purpose of conversion, this was an intense experience, and I know that I've spoken on it before, and I knew what was going to be happening, and I anticipated the pain,and I knew that this was something that was mandatory. Without this blessing, there would be no covenant. Without this action, there would be no receiving. And so, I tried to do this thing, and there was a moment in time when I backed up and I said, What am I doing? And I was like, but I want this. Reflecting backwards, there was nothing that was going to keep me from this moment. And so, in that moment, I did. The thing, and the relief, was immense as far as it being over with, although that memory will be imprinted on me forever because there was pain along with blood on the god as evident, and there was just this intense, like, I did step one. Step one. Done. 

  MIRIAM: Clearly, it did hurt. A lot. Which isn’t true for everyone. But it was certainly true for Ari and Josh. 

  Also, both Ari and Josh walked into the beit din with such confidence that the hardest part was behind them—from here on out, it was all about pure acceptance. 

   JOSH: I will be honest with you I was scared of going to the house and judgment. [authentication, mikvah, boundaries] I was scared of coming to the bay zine, right? Like why was I scared? Who knows? Maybe it's just the last time that I was in front of any type of Judges of my character, it was not deemed in a way that, you know, was beneficial to me, but then again, this was completely different. And so, in some ways, I recognize that this is a process, and I might not be found worthy of being part of this community at this point. But, the one thing that I felt for sure, and for certain, is that Ari was at a place in his [00:40:00] relationship with Judaism that he would be. And so, even if I didn't know everything that I needed to know at that time, that's how I felt. I felt like I didn't know everything I needed to know. And I felt like Ari was in that place where he would know everything that he needed to know in order to be able to answer questions eloquently and be able to pass through the House of Judgment and come into every other part of the process with an open heart and become the person that he is today, the man that he is today. What I didn't consider at that time is something that I understand now, that learning is a lifelong process, and this is something that you had reflected back to me. It's that, you know, we will continue learning together for the rest of our lives, and all of us will continue learning. And we'll pass this along. And so I did not think that it was a for sure thing. I very much thought that there was a [possibility that I might not make the cut, so to speak. 

  ARI: the ceremony with you that made it feel most real, because it was like the acceptance of, you know, the community and the fate dean with Marvin and Amy, um, You know, no matter how much self study and things, um,  had happened, it didn't feel like there was that stamp of approval from the community until we actually came out of the water and did the whole thing, and it was just like this amazing feeling that Josh and I had for like  right afterwards…I was expecting like All these hard questions at the Bate Dean  and you know, we both had stayed up studying like oh man We don't know what they're gonna ask us and like I don't want to get something wrong And like we were going over all these books and like other things and I was like, oh man this feels like a pop quiz and It was more like a conversation and I thought we were gonna be kind of whipped over the coals Like why do you want to be Jewish? And like what do you know about this? And You know, first sheet, first five, what does it say here? Like, I wasn't sure what to expect, but you know, this whole experience was just amazing.

   MIRIAM: We started with the first question, How did you reach this moment in time?

  It’s a play on Shehechianu, the Jewish prayer for gratitude, that thanks God for reaching this moment in time.  

  AUDIO: Singing Shehechianu prayer: Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’Olam Shehechianu, V’kiyamanu, V’higiyanu, B’zman hazeh. 

   MIRIAM: Josh went first. 

  We asked him all sorts of questions.

  About his practice, his connection with God, the way he observes the sabbath, his feelings about peoplehood, Israel, and what he wants to learn next. 

  We asked him to explain why he chose the Hebrew name Yermiyahu ben Avraham v’Sarah.

   JOSH: Yirmiyahu was given to me. My name, God has loosened my bonds, was so meaningful to me at that point in time because that's exactly what Hashem had did. He had loosened my bonds in a place where people told me that this would never happen. You will never be Jewish and you will die in prison...This will never happen for you. Because you have no free will, but how could I not have free will? I'm the most free that I've ever been in my life. And as I went into this mitzvah and came out Jewish, God had loosened my bonds. Joshua Phillips had transformed into Yirmiyahu ben Avraham v. Sarah. And I was indulged with the acceptance of my community.

   MIRIAM: Then we blessed him. Affirmed him. And turned to Ari.

   We asked Ari, how did you reach this moment in time?

  And we questioned him about Torah, his learning, his prayer practices, and culture.

  ARI: It was a desire to affirm something that I already believed, but I just kind of wanted to announce it to the rest of the world, you know, and you know, I had been keeping Shabbat and doing all the things for the last, you know, 15 years or so …finding ways for people to learn Things and make it relatable is I think kind of the point of it all. I mean, it's not like about what we believe It's more about how we act and if you know a parable can get you to remember to You know act in a certain way or keep someone in mind, you know I love that, like the, you know, the things that you can relate to the current social justice movement, you know, remembering that we were strangers in the land of Egypt and, you know, terribly mistreated and no one helped us, you know, it, you know, we were aware of what it was like to be mistreated and now, you know, as I move forward on my journey to help out with civil rights, you know, it's like, You need to stand up for the people that are oppressed, you know, uh, through, you know, Representing them or through Tikkun Olam, you know, rebuilding the world,

   MIRIAM: Then we blessed him. Affirmed him. And then a bell sounded. 

  And one by one the rest of the guys walked into the chapel. Amy, Marvin, and I had been sitting in three chairs facing Ari and Josh, like ellipses. 

  The men moved their chairs so that they sat behind Ari and Josh, like we were in class, or on display. Their presence surprised me. I thought we’d have more time privately with Ari and Josh, and now, this third piece of the ritual, the mikvah went from a private ceremony to a public one. 

  ARI: I actually like the idea of the public immersion, uh, because it's like you have the community there, and it's like everybody's watching you take the plunge, literally, you know, and it was super cool to have you, Marvin, and Amy each say a different blessing, uh, and Thanks. You know, to come up out of the water the three times and it was like, wow, so I, I love the public part of that because you're, in essence, you're joining a community. [00:09:00] So why not have the community there? So for me, I actually like having all the people around. It was really cool. 

  MIRIAM: It was a powerful shift. 

  The mikvah can be incredibly emotional. 

  So can the beit din.

  And certainly the milah, the ritual circumcision. 

  In prison, nothing and everything is hidden.

  There are cameras and security practices and guards and regulations and checkpoints, watching your every move. 

  And what you care about, your vulnerabilities and weaknesses, must be held close to the chest, lest they be exploited.

  So to then, in that context, ask Ari and Josh to be their most exposed – quite literally- to be tearful, and thoughtful, full of stories and yearning in front of their Jewish community, was a very large ask. 

  And they didn’t hesitate. 

  It was just about who would get in the water first. 

  MIKVAH AUDIO: Sounds of water 

  MIRIAM: You already know about the blessing and the kiss.

  What you don’t know yet is what Ari and Josh do to mark their Jewish affirmation within their community.

  ARI: I was talking with Josh and I was like, well, we don't really have a temple these days, but we could give something to the group, you know, and that can be our sacrificial offering, um, you know, and for us, you know, that's like a year's wages, but it was something that will bless the group for many years to come. 

  MIRIAM: Early on I explained that part of belonging to a people involves giving back to your community, not just receive from it. It’s typical in an organized Jewish community to pay membership dues to a synagogue, to volunteer, to make a financial contribution to mark a moment of joy or loss in someone’s life, and to find ways to contribute visibly to the growth and well-being of the community. So, in addition to preparing a spiritual autobiography, reading books, talking with me, and learning with Marvin and Amy, I had asked them to consider a gift that would mark this moment and benefit the Jewish folks in Monroe Correctional. 

  ARI:  I remember we had been talking about, you know, things that might be a blessing to the group, and, uh, you had said you really liked the Mishnah, and that kind of touched Josh in a certain way, and I love these stories that are in the Midrash, and, you know, Whether they're true or not true, you know, there's always a cool ending, and like, just things that you can relate to Judaism, or Something that teaches like a moral story, you know, it's kind of cool. Uh, you know, I'm reminded of the story of David on the run, and there's a spider that, you know, hides, or like builds a web in front of the cave, and when the soldiers come looking for him, they're like, well he can't be in here, there's a giant spider web, you know, and those take forever to build. So, you know, it's just like, these cool old stories that are like, You know, the background to what goes on in the Tanakh and whatnot, and it's just pretty cool.

  MIRIAM: They decided to purchase a set of Midrash Rabba and Mishnah. It cost about $1200 to buy those books, which for Josh and Ari is about a year’s worth of salary. A year of cleaning, sorting, landscaping, laundry, dishes, painting, hours of labor to buy books for their group.  

  ARI: Josh and I actually, um, donated a, to the group as part of our conversion I forgot to tell you about, was I bought the entire Midrash, um, Rabbah, and Josh bought the entire Mishnah, and that was our contribution to the group, um, As part of our becoming Jewish, you know, so that the rest of the community could benefit from something to study, which was pretty cool…Oh man, I make a dollar an hour painting murals, so The set was, uh, it was 540 for all 12 books, and I think his Mishnah set was around the same price. He got six box sets of books, um, so I think it was around, you know, 500 or 600 as well. Uh, but You know, it was just something that I was able to, you know, sell a couple of paintings to some friends that, you know, I told them what I wanted to do, and they were like, I'm in. So That's so beautiful.

  MIRIAM: And why those books?

  So that their fellow Jews could work on bringing a dvar Torah, a sermon, or a study piece on Shabbat, they started a new practice with the books. Everyone needs to teach Torah, they said. They created a sign up sheet and the group got to it, each signing up for a week and preparing their offering by reading about their portion in the books.

  Once they are accepted into the Jewish people, the first thing that Ari and Josh do, is to open the gates wider. 

  That’s what happens in the Talmud too. 

  In Brachot 28a, Rabban Gamliel was the head of the greatest academy in the world. But, he was so restrictive in who could study with him that eventually, he was dismissed from his position. Once he was gone, the gates were opened, and permission was granted for students to enter. First, a few benches were added to the study hall. Then 400, then 700. The yeshiva floods with new students. Rabban Gamliel sees this growth, and in distress, he cries out, “Woe! I have withheld the Torah from Israel!” Grieving over the gatekeeping he had maintained for so long.  The very first case that is decided in that new, flourishing community of the yeshiva is to allow for Ammon the Moabite, a learned man who is biblically prohibited from conversion, to join the community. Rejecting the biblical statute and choosing instead to see the human before them for the gift that he is. 

  The first thing that happens when you open the gates is that those that come after us will open them wider. In each opening, we are pushed to ask ourselves, where is my gatekeeping preventing Torah from reaching the people? Also, it’s a companion question: Where is my gatekeeping helping people hold fast to the Torah?

  Each time, it’s a fresh opening, a new process of interrogating how best to serve one another, to bring the Torah to each other, and through each other out into the world for the betterment of the world. 

  That doesn’t mean it’s not scary. Or without sacrifice.

  Change always requires a piece of our soul to shift, and growth is rarely comfortable. 

  But becoming our fullest selves is the holiest, most human thing we can do. 

  [MUSIC]

  MIRIAM:  Thanks for listening. Tales of the Unbound is a production of the Institute for the Next Jewish Future and part of the family of podcasts of Judaism Unbound.  Tales of the Unbound was created and written by me, Miriam Terlinchamp, produced and edited by Joey Taylor, original music by Ric Hordinski, and art by Katie Kaestner-Frenchman.

  Thank you to Amy and Marvin and all those who serve the Jewish people. A big shout out to Ari, Josh, all the Jewish folks in Monroe Correctional, and all the people everywhere trying their best to do good time. 

  Special thanks to DOC at Monroe Correctional who allowed access to Ari and Josh.  Check the show notes to find out ways you can get involved to support those who are incarcerated and for amazing behind-the-scenes content. We'd love to hear from you, so you can email us at miriam@judaismunbound.com or find us at: www.judaismunbound.com/tales. 

  Stay tuned for our next episode, where we will delve into why I said “yes way” to this project.

  MIRIAM: Thanks for listening. This has been Tales of the Unbound.