Tales of the Unbound Episode 2: Yes Way!

“Tales of the Unbound: Episode 2 – “Yes Way” explores the role of prison chaplaincy in cultivating a sense of belonging and Jewish connection among incarcerated people. This episode specifically follows Amy, the Jewish sponsor and chaplain at Monroe Correctional. We talk about what it felt like to first enter the space, how she cultivated a thoughtful community, and where the boundaries lay around Jewish identity. 

[1] Do you love this music? We do, too! Ric Hordinski created special tracks for each interviewee, along with intros and outros. He’s amazing, and it’s worth checking out his many phenomenal works, including The Silence of Everything, Arthur’s Garden, and some of the Jewish music he created for JustLove, like this one based on Psalm 23. 

[2] The garden at Monroe Correctional is beautiful. You can learn more about gardening as a practice through the Evergreen State College and Washington State Department of Corrections: Sustainability in Prisons project. 

[3] Hineni, Here I am. Is a term we see through the Hebrew Bible. First, when God is searching for Adam in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God “Hineni”. And when, Abraham is responding to God’s request to sacrifice his son, Abraham says “Hineni”. Hineni, as a response of readiness to do God’s will shows up 178 times in the Bible.  And in Jewish pop culture from the song, “You Want It Darker” by Leonard Cohen to the book “Here I am” by Jonathan Safran Foer, Jews use this term to reference a response to a higher calling.  

[4] Amy talks about where she couldn’t start from -and then goes on to name some Hebrew phrases that relate to the Jewish liturgy. She says “Kabbalat Shabbat” referring to the songs sung to help usher into Shabbat. It also means Friday evening – or the first stage of Sabbath. 

[5] Siddur is the Hebrew word for prayerbook. Every Jewish denomination and community of Jews has a prayerbook for their specific group. The difference might range on whether English is included or transliteration (the phonetic way to process the Hebrew words in English letters). Some prayers are omitted, some have pictures or chords to sing, while others are all in Hebrew with no directions on where to stand or sit, respond, or sing along. There is a wide variation of what is included, but in most, you will find prayers (sung or read) for welcoming the Sabbath, gathering as a community of practice, healing, and mourning.  The specific one that Amy refers to is likely the “Weiss Edition Siddur” which is provided free of charge by the Aleph Institute to those in the military and those incarcerated. 

[6] Ari and Josh talk a lot about Amy’s singing. All the guys do. Jewish prayer includes lots of chanting and singing. But almost no organized Jewish prayer has a hymnal. There might be a projector with words or a song session with a songbook after services, but for the prayers itself, learning how we sing them outcomes primarily through osmosis. For Ari, he never had prayed Jewishly in song before Amy.

[7] Shalom Aleichem is the song that Amy is singing in this piece. The prayer calls on the angels of the Sabbath to join us. We welcome them and ask for them to reside among us. You can find the words here, a great traditional rendition here, and a powerful one by Debbie Friedman here.

[8] Amy talks about nurturing and damaging … She says the damage part tongue in cheek. Meaning it in how we raise all our children – doing our best to do well and teach goodness, and still, our kids have plenty to complain about. So too it is with the guys. She nurtures, encourages, and loves them, and she’s very firm about boundaries and is careful about what she teaches. 

[9] Hippocratic oath is the ethical oath physicians take to do their best only to pursue beneficial treatments. Typically, when we refer to the Hippocratic Oath outside of the medical field, we talk about the commitment to “first, do no harm.” Or in the Greek, primum non nocere. It’s actually not part of the Hippocratic Oath – it’s part of a different Greek writing called “Of the Epidemics”. But for our purposes, what Amy is talking about is to avoid harm or double down on trauma and the suffering that the guys have already been through and use Judaism solely as a tool for personal betterment and strength.

[10] Miriam references Pirkei Avot 1:1, which you can read in more detail here.

[11] Miriam uses the words “Kosher” and “Tref” creatively in this metaphor around a bounded community. Kosher is classically used in reference to food that is permitted by Jewish law to consume. whereas Tref is a term used to connote non-kosher or prohibited foods. If you are into a deeper dive into Kashrut (Kosher rules), here’s a nice article on the word Tref (it gets spelled: Tref, Treif, Treyf… all kinds of ways because it’s a Yiddish word). And, a nice intro on Kosher cooking by Tori Avey (who has an amazing Challah recipe!) 

[12] Amy and Marvin use acronyms when referring to different correctional facilities in Washington State, like WSR, TRU, and Twin Towers. The important thing to note for our story is that the guys were kept in different spaces and segments of the sprawling facility until Amy brought them together under the call for a minyan. 

[13] The fear of scattering is no small thing. It’s baked into Jewish culture of being cast out/scattered away from one another. We read about it in the Prophets and Psalms and in the historical realities that the best way to diffuse the power of a community is to scatter it.

[14] Amy uses the concept of Minyan to help keep her guys together. We need each other in order to pray. Here’s a brief background on the requirement of a quorum to pray.  But there is a ton of information about the shift from counting only Jewish men over the age of 13 in a minyan to expanding it to include women. What Amy does-  by counting those who identify as Jewish, those in her community but may not have converted yet – is revolutionary. 

[15] Ari mentions that there are specific prayers that require a minyan for public prayer are listed in Mishnah Megillah 4:3: Kaddish (for mourners), Barchu (communal call to prayer), Kedusha (central prayer of holiness), separating from holy and mundane,  and the repetition of the Amidah (the standing prayer).

[16] Amy uses the word “Hashgacha,” which is a term for supervision, usually specific to rabbinic supervision, for determining whether something is kosher. Typically, this centers around designating food as kosher, but it can also be used to talk about Divine Providence or interference.  

[17] Miriam says that she feels that she is part of the lineage of Puah and Shifra. These were the midwives in the Exodus Story who continued to help deliver Jewish babies even after Pharoah decreed that this was forbidden. In Exodus 1:12-21, you can read their resistance. Miriam is specifically talking about being a midwife (rather than a mother) of this moment for the guys, helping facilitate the next chapter but not being the creator of it.  

[18] Miriam uses the word “Mitzrayim” and defines it as the narrow strait, which is the literal translation of the Hebrew in Exodus. Making the place where the story takes place less about Egypt or a nation-state and more about the state of any space or place where we are constricted and seeking. The term can be understood literally, but Miriam is leaning into the metaphor of Mitzrayim, the narrow place, where hope is hard to find, and yet we still do what is right and best for our wellbeing and for our community.

[19] The Priestly benediction first shows up in Numbers 6:24-26. Here’s a fun video that describes its origins. Typically, this blessing is seen in synagogues led by Kohanim (a specific class of Jews who are said to be descendants of the priestly class) or by the rabbi, but it can be said by anyone. Many Jewish families bless their children on the Sabbath with these words. It is both a formal and one of our people's oldest prayers. 

• Transcript

  MIRIAM: Welcome to Tales of the Unbound, I am miriam Terlinchamp, and this is a seven episode series about a journey of Jewish conversion within a prison. If this is the first time you’re listening - welcome and thanks for subscribing! If you haven’t heard episode one yet, best to push pause now, and go back and listen to the first episode in order to best engage with the story. Also, our shownotes include all kinds of ways to volunteer, donate and get involved, so please check them out at the conclusion of this episode.

  [Music]

  Before Amy walked into the prison, she hadn’t given too much thought to prison life, let alone Jewish prison life. Amy was a non-profit executive, a mother, and a committed and learned Jew.

  The first time I saw her - Amy was waiting outside the prison entrance so we could walk in together. She was easy to spot - her small frame juxtaposed starkly against the large gates. Amy was all business, in the sweetest, most maternal, teacher-like of ways - explaining to me each step of the process, making sure I left anything that might be seen as contraband back in the car, a mix of instruction and compassion.

  I watched her go ahead of me - half a head shorter, thin arms, with delicate hands placing her badge through the slot between the guard office and the main prison block. For anyone, the barbed wire, the multiple locked gates, and the stark waiting room would be a lot. But, to also be a petite female, with an ethereal air - it’s extra scary to be in that space surrounded by the brittle, toughness, and (frankly the) maleness of that space - and I was amazed at Amy’s level of confidence in safety - not based on might, or an ability to fight, but in the determination of what she was doing there.

  AMY: I guess for me it's really about helping them to do good time. The voice of Judaism that someone who's incarcerated is seeking to be able to help them navigate. What they're doing inside and becoming a better person, regardless of the fact that they may or may not get released in my lifetime or even their own, but being able to provide them with concrete Jewish morals and values that can guide them in their day to day while they're incarcerated. So they can become different people today than they were when they landed in prison, however, many years ago it was. And if the values and the morals of Judaism are an underpinning for them that allow them to do that, then that's what I want to help them do. Become better people.

  Miriam: In this prison, after leaving the staff security entrance, you walk into an expansive yard, which feels like another world—a large garden that, in July, when I visited, showcased sunflowers at their height. Once you’re away from the entrance, you feel a little free — free to enjoy the Northwest’s easy summer air and also free from direct contact with security guards.

  We turn into the chapel, which looks like an old classroom of cinder block walls painted in cream, the same color as the tiled floor. There’s a folding table, stacked chairs, a few instruments, and bookshelves. The Jewish books are in the hallway in a metal locker bolted shut. It’s clearly the prize of the Jewish folks. Something that Amy has slowly grown in her time there, one book at a time, expanding access, believing that Judaism has something to offer to the world that brings healing, meaning, and belonging.

  AMY: I just felt like Judaism has always been this really integral part of who I am, and knowing that there were Jews in prison who were not able to participate in religious services because there was nobody to help guide them through them. Made me want to be that person for them made me want to be in a place where I could potentially make a difference, where I could be a guide, uh, source of teaching, helping people to grab hold of Judaism and make it more a part of them than perhaps it was.

  MIRIAM: There are a few storylines that you will hear over and over in this podcast series. One is that Judaism has something positive to offer the world. And those of us who fall in love with Judaism, and are changed by it, are lucky. Another storyline is that a conversion happens for every person in this story, the born Jew, the Jew by choice, and all the people in between. Converting to different plains of Jewish identity at different times in their lives. The third is that when presented with a call, be it a burning bush or an “aha” moment in a podcast or out in the yard or during a Shabbat service or seeing a need in the world, you know you have the skills and heart to fill… we meet that moment. Everyone in this story, and our shared story of humanity, is called into something particular to benefit the common good. And it’s our choice whether we respond.

  So, when Amy saw a man in prison wearing a kippah and heard the story of a group of men trying their best to gather and pray on Shabbat, she met the moment with action, saying,

  AMY: Yes, way! I’m one of you

  MIRIAM: which is another way of saying, Hineni, here I am.

  AMY: There was just this calling for me I'd never been inside a prison before I started working for University Beyond Bars. Couldn't imagine myself ever doing that before that job. And now, honestly, I can't imagine never doing this again. It feels in so many ways like a calling.

  MIRIAM: This is Tales of the Unbound, Episode 2 “yes way”.

  [MUSIC FADES]

  MIRIAM: It was settled. Amy was the new sponsor for the Jewish group. In prison, to gather as a group, you need a sponsor. Without one, there are limitations on convening as a group, and there are different security measures. After all those years of small shared leadership, now someone wanted to invest in their group and support a deepening of their Judaism. One conversation between a guy in a kippah and an educator led to a sponsorship, which brings us to the first Shabbat that Amy experienced with the guys:

  AMY: We were not in the chapel because there was a Catholic service in the chapel And so we were in this really tiny, crowded classroom, um, and, um, and that first Shabbat was a little intimidating, I don't think I was ever scared. Like that's not the right word, I was definitely nervous, Definitely nervous about was it going to be what they wanted? Was, I going to be able to give them the spirituality that they were hoping for, right? Was I going to be a good fit with them?

  MIRIAM: These are not just the concerns of a chaplain in a prison. These are the concerns of every spiritual leader trying to speak with her people, foster belonging, and encourage meaning-making. So, Amy held the space in the best way she knew how, as a sacred Jewish space focused on relationships and connection.

  ARI: She is an amazing woman. I met her about six or seven years ago now. In a maximum security place. When it was just a couple of us practicing. And She was just kind of sitting there quietly and I showed her hand. I was like, nice to meet you and she's like, oh, tell me a little bit about yourself.

  AMY: That first time, I couldn't just start right away with, okay, it's Kabbalat Shabbat, let's go. We spent some time going around the room and having everybody introduce themselves and just how long had they been coming to the group? What brought them to the group that day? What were they hoping to get out of their own participation?

  MIRIAM: And then she got to it. She asked them what their Sabbath observation had been like, what prayerbook they used, the tunes they sang, and then realized, that maybe she needed to ask different questions specific to the prison context.

  AMY: It was clear that for some people, reading was a really scary thing. They had never read out loud. Their own reading was maybe at a 6th or 7th-grade level, and all of a sudden, they were being asked to read language that wasn't necessarily familiar to them. Those first, you know, probably few weeks it was pretty slow and methodical and, in some ways a little bit painstaking for those that wanted to move faster because they are used to being able to read faster but I also think in some ways cathartic for others, Because it was like, okay, wait, there is someone who wants to be with us, wants to teach us. We're not just rushing through so we can be done in an hour and have grape juice.

  MIRIAM: And Amy meant it. Amy wasn’t there for the short-haul, she was in it for the long road of discovery. Of methodically revealing the beauty of Judaism through the loving, step-by-step practice of Sabbath worship.

  AMY: The siddur that they were using, honestly, it looks like it's a siddur that was created for the military. The cover is like this military and mostly, they were doing the service in English because very few of them knew the Hebrew prayers. And so I started to kind of go in weekly and lead them through the prayers. And I would do the first few lines in Hebrew for Kabbalat Shabbat and the Maariv service. And then they would go around round robin and read in English. And it was very participatory.

  ARI: And then we had service and we heard her sing and it was like the most amazing experience because we'd never had someone doing any cantor type stuff for us and It was just like night and day difference between us reading along, without the tunes to Hebrew to having someone add a whole melody to it

  AMY: As the weeks went on more and more men started coming because there was this buzz about this sponsor who's coming and doing Shabbat with us every week. And so more and more of those who kind of affiliated Jewishly or thought of themselves as exploring Judaism just started to come.

  JOSH: At the time it was COVID, we were quarantined. We weren't able to associate with anybody in the Jewish community. Shortly thereafter, that opened up, and I was able to attend my first Shabbat experience, and I was able to go with the people that were in my unit. And so we all went down there, and at the time, there was a chunk of people missing from the other units, but I got to meet Amy for the very first time. And I was handed a siddur and didn't really know what I was doing and It was just like, hey, just follow along and somebody like kind of helped me flip to the right pages and helped me figure out where I was at, what I was doing, and then as I just listened and soaked it up as she began to sing these Hebrew words, I found that something inside of me was opening up. That deep down inside me that my soul had just been touched by this Hebrew that was coming out of her mouth and this melody that was just bringing about something inside of me that was truly blossoming and that warmth inside of me. And I felt emotions that I haven't felt. And so, as I sat there and absorbed that. I realized that I belong here, and so, and so I kept coming back

  AMY: Singing Shalom Aleichem

  JOSH: A lot of the guys talk about the significance of hearing Amy sing, and for me, that's true. It does ring in my head and in my ears throughout the week, uh, Kabbalat Shabbat, but it's more of the Hebrew that really touched my heart and touched deeply to my soul that let me know that I was in a place that I belonged, and that was a very emotional time for me.

  MIRIAM: Amy’s voice didn’t just improve the feel of Shabbat. Amy spoke into the parts of their souls that sought belonging. Something big that had been missing for a long time. An archetypal presence of unconditional love. Or at least, for the time she had them, while they were in her space, doing Judaism, they would feel loved.

  AMY: I think that in many ways I do think of these men as my children, I can't deny that, I do feel like I am nurturing them as I would nurture my own children.

  MIRIAM: That’s Amy’s version of the Hippocratic oath, do no harm. Decorated with tropes of familial energy, a process, and an attitude around belonging.

  MARVIN: You know that old expression, you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. A lot of these guys come from unfortunate childhood experiences and family situations. So, they've kind of created their own family inside.

  MIRIAM: That’s Marvin, Amy’s husband. More on him in a minute because I want to flush out this family/tribal vibe that’s happening in this community of choice. They are choosing to identify with a Jewish group - that includes worship, a language/way of speaking, education and study, and also a way of showing up for one another. When we talk about community, trying to instill a sense of shared existence, this is what we are going after - a sense of deep belonging.

  JOSH: “...being welcomed into my Jewish community, into the tribe, so to speak, this was something that was endearing to me personally because I now had a connection in a different way that was almost maternal, and that for me is so deep and to this day, when I look at Amy that's what I see.”

  MIRIAM: Here I am right after my visit, sharing with my partner about what I saw in that space.

  MIRIAM [RAW AUDIO]: and I was like, but tell me, how have you created a community of Jews? How do you know who belongs in your group and who doesn't? And so one of them said, well, you know, we look out for each other. I said, okay, what does that look like? Well, some of us work out together a lot. Some of us have walkers and can't look out for each other. And so when this guy who's 300 pounds says hi to the guy in the walker in the chow hall, We all know who has his back and that we don't have to mess with each other…And one guy said, well when I entered this facility, I had a second-grade reading level. It's not great still, but I'm dyslexic, and all the words are a jumble, but in this group I'm not scared of reading out loud. I don't talk great either, and I could talk here.

  MIRIAM: I could talk here… One of the ways to ensure that people are held in felt safety, in any healthy family or group is to have clarity around the boundaries on how to show up and be in the community.

  AMY: I always said that the space was open and welcome to anyone who wanted to be there. But I also had some rules, and those were that this was not a place for Jesus worship. I was really clear that this was a traditional Jewish space and it was not a space where people could question the validity of Judaism, and if that's why they were there, then it wasn't the right space for them, And that everyone needed to be respectful of everybody else in the space. No talking over one another while someone was reading. It was participatory. I wanted everyone to participate. They could pass if they didn't want to read. But my goal was to get everybody to participate.

  MIRIAM: What does it mean to have everyone participate in a traditional Jewish space, that is in a non-traditional setting? Where the boundaries have to be flexible given the context, we need to think about the definition of Judaism, the gates that bind the community, and the gatekeepers who hold the space and the boundaries.

  In the first lines of Pirkei Avot, it outlines the lineage of Jewish tradition from Moses on Sinai to Joshua to the elders to the prophets and so on… which was:

  הֱווּ מְתוּנִים בַּדִּין Be patient in justice

  וְהַעֲמִידוּ תַלְמִידִים הַרְבֵּה raise up many students and

  וַעֲשׂוּ סְיָג לַתּוֹרָה make a fence around the Torah.

  That last line, the fence around the Torah - the rabbis go bananas with that requirement. The fence around the Torah is intended to delineate what’s kosher (what belongs) and what’s tref (what does not belong) under the heading of “Judaism.”

  There are distinctive fences, and clear boundaries, around denominational Judaism. Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist Judaism are all bounded. The act of definition requires a boundary. And, the more bounded something is, the more particular the definition of what it means to be part of the group. This doesn’t mean that everyone who identifies in that group acts and believes exactly in accordance with the policies of those denominations or that you can strip someone of those denominational identities. What I mean is that there are clear definitions of what it means to belong and enter those communities.

  These different forms of organized Jewish life serve different purposes. Unbound Judaism emphasizes individual identity, whereas Bound Judaism emphasizes communal identity. This doesn’t mean that one doesn’t include the other. It means that the orientation of the Jewish journey differs depending on where you seek to belong. And once you have it, and you can gather, and be fully present, it opens gates to other forms of personal evolution and clarity.

  AMY: I think that many of them have found their true identity because they have felt like the group is more welcome, and they've been able to become their true selves and to identify as gay or as bisexual. I've always made it really clear that the space is a safe space for anyone who wishes to worship and to be in community with those who are exploring Judaism, whether they're exploring Judaism because they have never been part of the Jewish community and are trying to find a religion that speaks to them, or whether they were raised Jewish, but, never had a Jewish upbringing.

  MIRIAM: We use the word “Jewish” in this conversation as though there is a clear definition of Judaism and Jewish identity. In the Jewish space that Amy leads in Monroe Correctional, anyone can come to practice, learn, and observe Jewish rituals with the stipulation that we all agree that what we are doing here is Judaism. Even though there are many ways of defining Judaism and Jewish identity. And, I’d argue that it’d be hard to pin down general universal characteristics of Judaism that fit all Jews in all contexts.

  In rabbinical school, I learned that the shared tenets are: Torah, God, and Peoplehood. But, even there, what we mean by Torah, God, and peoplehood differ based on the individual. So in this context, of a Jew-ish prison community led by a conservative Jewish chaplain, the definitions of Judaism, and Jewish-ness are tied to that denomination and then expanded by the unique needs and desires of that specific community… I know… it’d be alot easier if we could say Jews believe in X and do Y, but true Judaism is played out through thousands of years of texts, rituals, and practices.

  In any nascent adoption process of a new discipline, it is natural to seek out a concrete foundation. You can’t write poetry without knowing the alphabet. You can’t improvise on a Jazz tune without knowing how to play it straight. You get the picture. So it makes sense that in a conversion process, in the beginning, folks want structure and clarity of boundaries, and then slowly, nuance can emerge. This is even more true in a prison setting.

  Most people who are incarcerated have experienced trauma, a lack of certainty in their lives, and a lack of structure. Prison is often the direct consequence of that life - and so when they find themselves incarcerated, a place with very rigid structures and lots of empty time, many folks gravitate towards meaning-making mechanisms in an effort to make sense of what they are going through. Finding religion in prison is not unique. It’s the finding of a religion that allows for so much flexibility in creed and praxis, whose whole purpose has nothing to do with heaven and hell or doing everything just right but rather is focused on personal transformation for the greater good.

  ARI: I think the essence of Judaism should be helping your neighbor whether they're Jewish or not. It's just something. That's kind of the whole point of it is like does it make you a better you?

  MIRIAM: That’s totally the whole point.

  JOSH: Since I had started to come to the Jewish community, the Jewish group Shabbat, and I was finding my place there, and I was finding people around me that were genuine, that I felt like cared about me. And the reason why I knew they cared about me is because we would do nice things for each other. We would get a card. It's this guy's birthday. We're gonna all get a card and write something nice in it for this guy and give it to him for his birthday. And they wanted to know, what is your birthday? And so it really let me know that, hey, I mattered. And that these other guys, they mattered. And that we're gonna do what we can to make sure that We all matter to each other, at least.

  MIRIAM: Word spread about this little Jewish community where the heart of what they teach is that you matter.

  AMY: And they requested to move to Monroe because they heard that there was a growing Jewish presence at Monroe and that there was somebody who was bringing the men together on a regular basis for worship. And so a lot of men started to ask to be transferred to Monroe from prisons around the state because they heard that Monroe was becoming a safe harbor for the Jewish community.

  AMY: white supremacist movements are really popular in prison and a number of the guys were moved from prisons where they were being harassed regularly because of their Jewish identity. And they were able to ask to go to Monroe because they felt that it was a safe haven for Jews. And I think they do stick together and I think they do stand up for one another in a way that there is community for them.

  ARI:You know, neo Nazis, or people that just don't like Jews in prison. It's a very real thing, and some of our guys actually came from other prisons when they brought them here as a safe place to be because Amy was the only Jewish sponsor in the state that had a group that people could actually practice Shabbat at. So, people came because, they were persecuted in other places, or just wanted to be part of the program, and people that were recognized as having been born Jewish were, in a way, saved in kind of an Esther moment.

  AMY:There was talk about closing WSR and of everyone being transferred elsewhere. And at that point in time the Jewish group was really strong. And many of them were freaking out about having to go someplace else. And so they said to me, like, anything you can do to help and technically I'm not allowed to do that. I can't advocate for them in any way. But what I did do was I spoke with the chaplain and then I also spoke with DOC in Olympia and I said, I know that I can't get in the way of the decisions that you're going to make about transferring people to other prisons. But what I am going to tell you is that Judaism is very different from other religions. And then in order for them to actually worship the way that they're supposed to, there needs to be at least 10 of them in the space to say most of the prayers together. And if you scatter them. That won't be able to happen. And this program has, in many ways become a safe harbor. There were men who were at other prisons who were being targeted because they were Jewish.

  JOSH:In our community, one person being gone is the difference between having a minyan or not and being able to do certain prayers or not. And so every person that comes is very important and is accepted as someone who can participate in this thing so that we can all be a part of something that's very meaningful and special to us all. And that was very important to continue showing up and continue to learn from people around me. And to embrace community in a way that I had never seen it.

  MIRIAM: So, Amy holds the boundary that Judaism requires a minyan to pray. Yet, a minyan is defined by Orthodox standards as a group of 10 Jewish men, and in Conservative and Reform Judaism, a minyan is a group of 10 Jewish people, but Amy pushes this fence a little further - requiring a minyan but defining it as 10 people. It’s the gathering, and it’s what they do in that gathering that matters, rather than about the legitimacy of any single person’s Jewish identity.

  JOSH: But I will say that. As I've watched our small minyan grow and how we all practice in here, that there are a lot of unmet needs of some of these folks in here, and we all sought mentorship, and learning, and learning in different areas.

  MIRIAM: Which brings us back to Marvin.

  AMY: So, Marvin Stern is my husband and he's been going into the prison with me for the last number of years.

  MARVIN: Well, I was just kind of a hitchhiker to start with. Amy was going up to the prison, and I would go occasionally to support her and learn more about what she was doing. Then, I became more regular.

  AMY: This past March we got permission to start going in on Wednesdays, and we started with a book club. So the first book that we did was Simon Wiesenthal's book, The Sunflower. And then we just finished When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Harold Kushner. And so our Wednesdays are a combination of Pirkei Avot and Biblical Hebrew, and we're going to alternate with historical Judaism.

  They're getting a great deal out of it, and the more we do, the more they want, which is great. But also the more open they are to sharing. And so on Wednesdays, we get a lot of personal growth happening on Wednesdays that feels different when people are really relating their own experiences with what we're reading and are sharing differently and are showing their vulnerabilities to their fellow inmates, but I also think that relationships between them have grown really precipitously over the last probably 18 months.

  MARVIN: So I trained as a Jewish educator…And then professionally, I did other things, but I think going to,TRU tapped into my Jewish educator. And so it was a very comfortable kind of fit for me to take my knowledge, which I haven't really utilized that much, bringing in Hebrew and bringing in some of the books that I've read and some of my Torah, the Torah study that we do together has kind of tapped in for me stuff that that's kind of been latent for, for, for some time.

  ARI: There's prayers that you need a minyan for, and to have that minimum to be able to do certain things in Judaism is a very real thing. Judaism is a community-based religion. You have 18 holidays a year that are almost impossible to celebrate by yourself and to have that sense of community that her and Marvin bring together for everybody, So that we could have Passover together and just the community being out there helping us with the things we need in here is amazing.

  MIRIAM: The more I learned about how the space at Monroe Correctional was held. The learning, the compassion, the firm grasp on boundaries, the way Amy was a leader, a pastor, a teacher, a counselor… the less I understood the need for me, an ordained rabbi. After all, the fence Amy and Marvin had drawn around their sacred community was framed in such a way that men were leaning into their truest selves - as Jews and as humans who wanted to do and be better humans. I saw no need for an ordained rabbi for this community. She was as rabbinic as they come. But Amy saw it differently. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have met the guys, traveled to the prison, or shared this story. So I asked her, Do you think you think you could have officiated the process of conversion without me?

  AMY: I don't know. I mean, from a technical standpoint, probably, but I don't think it would have ever felt real I don't think it would have ever felt like it would be sanctioned appropriately out in the real world. Because I don't have Smicha and I don't have those letters before my name and that kind of thing. So, in this case, the title does matter.

  MIRIAM: Ugh. the real world. And titles do matter, that’s true. But in Monroe Correctional, with a bunch of guys crying out to be welcomed as Jews, does it matter what folks on the outside think? Within this fence, your Torah is what matters.

  39. AMY: I feel like we could provide the pathway for someone to do it, but I still would feel the need to have a rabbinic presence there for all the Jewish legal aspects of it. Sign all the right documents and file them in the right places. And I guess it's just paper on the one hand, but on the other hand, there is this sort of like hashkacha that goes along with it that says, okay, this has the stamp of approval of a rabbi.

  MIRIAM: Ari felt the same way as Amy and Marvin.

  ARI: well, neither of them are rabbis, Marvin had studied to become one for a while and then switched his major to, I believe, Holocaust Studies and something else. And Amy, had always thought it was a really cool idea, but we just never found a rabbi that would do it.

  MIRIAM: And the rest of the guys, who are still waiting to convert, seem to be bound by this same need.

  JOSH: Now that they've seen that it's possible, they're willing to wait for a rabbi. And I feel like there's something about the process of becoming a rabbi and having a rabbi lead you into your conversion and being validated by your rabbi that is extremely meaningful to the majority of us.

  MIRIAM: The goal, I think, with these requirements is that by adhering to the conversion process as strictly as possible, going through Beit Din, Milah and Mikvah under the supervision of a rabbi that they will be seen as Jewish outside of the prison context.

  MARVIN: I suppose if I had been introduced to these people and we're told, well, they converted inside the prison and this was the process they went through.I might be a little skeptical of them, about that process because I don't know them But the fact is that I do know them and I do know that they've been on this journey And they take it seriously. And so it's like okay. Yeah, they're jews like everybody else because early on in terms of my own my own my own Education.I know that it's it's you you don't challenge somebody's conversion Once they convert they are part of the jewish people and so they're not Second class citizens of the community. They are a part of the community. And I'm good with that.

  MIRIAM: I think this is the way it is for most of us. We have a way of seeing the world, our own understandings of fences around the Torahs of our lives. And then, we encounter someone we love, who needs a different set of boundaries in order to join our circles of belonging - and so we flex - we move the fence out a little wider in order to include. Expansion happens first in relationship. Exclusion happens with calcified boundaries, typically about a theory or an other we cannot recognize. But when faced with the choice to embrace or reject someone we love, in our families, friend groups, our students… most of us will choose loving inclusion over the hardening of barriers.

  This is the task of all gatekeepers. It is a sacred art, to practice the nuanced work of discerning between when to hold the line, and when it’s time to widen the circle.

  The gates aren’t totally flung open in this scenario. There is still a fence around the Torah of this community. The Jewish community in Monroe Correctional is still a Jewish space, it’s still a conversion process based on what Amy, Marvin, Josh and Ari think is an authentic process for conversion. But, both for the community and for the individuals, it’s a stretching of the fence boundary from what they thought was the only way, to include a path that has a broader definition of what it means to belong to the Jewish community.

  There’s always a choice about whether we expand. It happens one step at a time, through the knowing of one another’s names, stories and intentions. And it is the role of gatekeepers, to try our best to see the world through the lens of love, believing that when we hold a line or broaden it, it is for the greater good of both the individual and the community.

  ARI: I recommend finding something that is close to your heart and just Dive deep into it and when you meet new people who want to be Jewish or are Jewish, or are just curious, explain what you learned and make a friend, share your story and help build a community where you're at.

  MIRIAM: On the day of the mikvah, I saw myself as part of the lineage of Puah and Shifra, the midwives who help bring Jewish children into the world in Mitzrayim, in a narrow place that does not want them. Ari and Josh are not my children, nor are they my students, they belong to their community and to their chaplains, and so, when it came time for the final moment of blessing, right after the third immersion, I stepped aside. And Amy placed her hands on the wet forehead of Josh, and she blessed him with the priestly benediction, the oldest blessing in our tradition, passed from generation to generation for thousands of years - in the holy Temple, in synagogues, and on Shabbat.

  Right after the lighting of the Sabbath candles, we turn, hold our children close, and say this blessing. Amy blessed her children this way every Shabbat, and so, too, were Ari and Josh, blessed in that same way by her.

  So much so, that at the final blessing she leaned over and kissed their foreheads.

  RAW AUDIO: Blessing by Amy and forehead kiss at the Mikvah

  MIRIAM: Like at bedtime, being tucked in. Like after you skin your knee, and she makes it all better. Like when you’ve done something so big and amazing and beautiful, and she can’t help but see you as her own.

  It’s a primordial kiss, the kind that lays dormant in us until the part of us that connects with the oneness of the universe, who sees every human being as sacred and worthy of love, is awakened, and we are called to seal the moment.

  AMY: I think for me, it was instinctual, I didn't really think about it. I think like my blessing them, my laying my hands on them and doing that did feel really intimate in a way that was very much like a mother to a child bestowing that blessing on them and knowing how meaningful it was to them to receive it.

  [MUSIC]

  MIRIAM:  Thanks for listening. Tales of the Unbound is a production of the Institute for the Next Jewish Future and part of the family of podcasts of Judaism Unbound. Tales of the Unbound was created and written by me, Miriam Terlinchamp, produced and edited by Joey Taylor, original music by Ric Hordinski, and art by Katie Kaestner-Frenchman.

  Thank you to Amy and Marvin and all those who serve the Jewish people. A big shout out to Ari, Josh, all the Jewish folks in Monroe Correctional, and all the people everywhere trying their best to do good time.

  Special thanks to DOC at Monroe Correctional who allowed access to Ari and Josh. Check the show notes to find out ways you can get involved to support those who are incarcerated and for amazing behind-the-scenes content. We'd love to hear from you, so you can email us at miriam@judaismunbound.com or find us at: wwwjudaismunbound.com/tales.

  Stay tuned for our next episode, in which we will follow Josh’s journey of Jewish identity.

  JOSH: A lot of us as converts, or Jews of choice, we go harder than the paint. We go ham. We are ready to get in there, and we want to show that What we have to offer is important to the community as a whole.

  MIRIAM: Thanks for listening. This has been Tales of the Unbound.